


A Happy Man

by Samantha114



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive John Winchester, Dean Needs A Hug, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, M/M, Not AU but not Canon, light destiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-10
Updated: 2015-07-10
Packaged: 2018-04-08 14:25:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4308591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Samantha114/pseuds/Samantha114
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Snippets of Dean Winchester's life living with John. It isn't pretty and most times, it's violent. Dean's had a hard, sad life...will he ever be a happy man or will the scared little boy forever lurk in his shadow? Events happening outside the main plot stop being canon after Dean meets Cas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Happy Man

A scared little boy with green eyes and freckles cowers near the bed of the motel. He looks around with wide, naive eyes and wonders why mommy’s gone and daddy’s crying. His baby brother begins to cry, but his dad doesn’t move. Dean gets up and comforts Sammy, not knowing that this responsibility will always rest on him.

A scared little boy looks at his father in terror as he walks toward him, his steel toed boots resounding against the cheap motel carpet. His eyes are crazed and he stinks of liquor. His leather belt is in one hand and a fiendish grin finds it way across his face. Dean doesn’t remember what he did wrong. He soon forgets all thoughts as the first of many lashes stings his back. It feels like forever before he’s done and the skin on his back feels like it will disintegrate with even the slightest touch. Still though, Dean is relieved it’s him and not Sam.

A scared boy walks Sam to school for the first time and hopes that his dad won’t drink again tonight. He almost couldn’t save Sam last night when his dad came home before the younger brother went to bed. He began asking about their mom; why she wasn’t here, where she was, what had happened to her. Dean always knew it was only a matter of time before he’d start asking questions, but he didn’t know that his dad would attempt to hurt him for it. As John raised a hand to Sam, Dean stepped in, taking the beating for him. He then made sure Sam knew never to ask about mom--instead, he spent all the free time they had when dad was away telling stories about her. 

A scared teenage boy wonders how he’s ever going to feed Sam this time. It seems like dad is leaving less and less when he goes on hunts and Dean has no idea what to do. Sam never complains, but Dean can hear the boy’s stomach growl and it kills him a little inside to know that his dad doesn’t care enough to feed his sons. So, he does the only thing he knows; he steals. When his dad catches wind of it, he is given the beating of his life and gets sent to a boy’s home. He finally feels at peace for once and begins to acclimate to a normal life, but it’s short-lived. John comes back and Sam’s sporting a new bruise on his arm. It’s certainly not the first time Dean feels like a failure when it comes to Sam, and somehow he knows it won’t be the last. 

A scared man watches as Sam walks out the door, leaving for college. If he hadn’t been an adult, there isn’t a doubt in his mind that John would’ve beat him senseless for this, but since he turned eighteen, John hasn’t raised a hand to him. In a way, Dean wishes that he would get a beating right now...it would be a lot less painful than the alcohol fueled words that he spits at the older son like venom. _’You’re useless. Everyone who ever loved you leaves you! You can’t even take care of your god damn brother! You’re not a Winchester, you’re a disgrace. You’re no son of mine.’ _Dean doesn’t want to believe him, but they make sense. If everyone who loves him leaves him, why is his father still there?__

A scarred man drives up to Stanford with a heavy heart. He shouldn’t care that John is gone, he should be thankful; celebrating even. But the loyalties that were beat into him as a child still remain like puckered scars. He was trained to be daddy’s faithful soldier, and damn if John didn’t make him into just that. There was no love or worry behind the search; he was driven by the fear of beatings and castigations to look for his absent father. He felt guilty for having to drag Sam into it, but who was he kidding, he couldn’t do this alone. 

A desperate man sells his soul to save his brother. To anyone else, it’s strictly an act of love, but to Dean, it serves a dual purpose. After John had sold his soul for his life, he couldn’t cope. Why would someone so hateful and resentful of his own flesh and blood save him? Why then of all times? Did he remember the beatings as clearly as Dean did? Did he remember the beratement and neglect? Dean kissed the crossroads demon with a sense of eagerness. This was his first and last act of defiance towards his father--he would reject the life John gave up for him. 

A tired man gazes into the eyes of his angelic lover. Those blue eyes have offered him comfort and respite ever since he first laid eyes on him. Cas always came when he called and a few years after their initial meeting, they had admitted their love for each other. And even though he’s built up walls that are as tall and thick as the Great Wall of China is long, Cas accepts him unconditionally. The angel takes pleasure in breaking down each and every barrier he’s put around his heart. Cas makes him feel whole again, and, for the first time since the fire that took his mother, he feels loved. Even the times when his memories haunt him and he can’t seem to forget the horrific penalties he’d faced by John’s hand or remembered the harsh words that were yelled at him, Cas is there. He soothes him and using his hands, his body, and his lips, erases the terrible memories. 

An almost happy man walks hand in hand with his husband. Since Cas is human now, they live a peaceful, monster free life in Lawrence, Kansas. Cas was unsure about living in the same town that began Dean’s misery, but Dean insisted. He wanted to wake up and know that the world hadn’t broken him completely--that there was still a part of him that was willing to fight. Living in Lawrence was the best way to do that; it was where his fight first began. 

A man seeking closure drives to the cemetery. Today is the 10 year anniversary of his father’s death and all Dean wants is to say the things he never got a chance to; to gain some semblance of finality. Cas is happy to oblige him and goes with him to John’s gravestone. Dean is shaking when Cas takes his hand and leads him over, squeezing his hand lightly and rubbing soothing circles on this knuckles. Once they were there, Cas gave him a small kiss and walked back to the car, deciding wordlessly that this was something Dean needed to do on his own. 

He stares at the gravestone for a long moment as the bitter feelings of resentment he’d tried for years to quell come to the surface. “Why did you do it? Why did I get beaten for nothing? Why did you have to drag Sammy and I down with your sorry ass? Why did you sell your soul for me?” Dean yells out questions at the engraved stone, knowing that it wouldn’t give him answers. “You are a coward. You were a terrible father and I will never forgive you for what you put Sammy and I through,” The more he spoke, the more strength he derived. John couldn’t hurt him for anything he said anymore. He was finally out of danger--finally able to say what he wanted without fear. He smiled a little and looked down at the flowerless grave. “Burn in hell, you sorry son of a bitch,” 

With those last words, he stormed off back to Cas. When he got to the car, he pulled his husband as close as he could manage and kissed him senseless. “I love you,” 

“I love you too,” 

A happy man got into the car with his husband at his side, heading to their shared house that was just a few miles from Dean’s family home. The windows were down and the glorious sound of ACDC blared through the speakers. Dean beamed as he drove down the familiar street and for once, he wasn’t scared or tired or scarred, or seeking closure. He was was content. It took thirty-six years, but he finally had the life he deserved. 

**Author's Note:**

> I hoped you liked it!


End file.
